My name is Brittan, pronounced like the country

If Life Seems Absurd, What You Need is Some Laughter

“There’s always that one person, no matter how long its been, or how badly they’ve treated you, if they say I love you, you will say it back”

 - and if you dont say it back, every fragment of your being is begging you too. All the thoughts that run through your head, all the blood running course through your veins, and all the tears you shed are signs of life- life you sustained because of him, every expression of emotion drives you wild because it was all for him. Once upon a time I was hurt because you didnt fight to keep me but now that your finally fighting for me I dont want you anymore. I dont ever wanna love again.

What I know about myself at the moment:

I cant have a good time unless im satisfied with my appearance/I like to know im missed because I miss too many people for my own good/I think crying feels good/I wish I could scream really loud but I cant because the rest of my family is asleep/I think the human body, woman or man, is beautiful/I need a cigarette/I was mad bylo didnt have smooths yesterday/I wish I was a better writer/Im frustrated with my life and have been for the past 2 weeks/I wish I was still dumb enough to rely on religion like I used to/My computer is freezing/I wish I could write something that didn’t make me sound like such a damn pessimist/I want a tattoo/I can read people really well/This is what I look like lately,yep, kissy lips and all:

Im layin down she say sit up
I sit up, she push me down, I sit up
She push me down, I get up
Then I act like im a hit her
But im a better nigga

I think about you when im riding dirty
I say I love you when I left I hope you heard me
In case I never make it back I hope you heard me

And what I been through you cant take back from me

I am insane, its official.

Im not kidding. gonna start blogging again i think. i could use the release. but now im going to eat dinner. mmm, home cooked shit from momma. tight. brb

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
It rolls in from the sea

My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?

They say that things just cannot grow
Beneath the winter snow,
Or so I have been told.

They say were buried far,
Just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
Cause you’re not where you belong;
Inside my arms.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum

I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
And life will find a way.

I’ll be your harvester of light
And send it out tonight
So we can start again.

Is love alive?

i’m sinking like a stone in the sea.
i’m burning like a bridge for your body. - Brand New

I cant decide what I want. Do I want this, do I want that? Good, bad? Sweet, sour? I really just dont know what I want. Haha, im so whiney right now im starting to annoying myself. Am I this type of person or that type of person? Do I care too much, do I care too little? I am so burnt out. I feel so disfunctional right now. Like im so tired I feel like im just kind of floating. My body is so worn out its ridiculous. But has anyone seen The Soloist? It was really good. The reality of it was extremely harsh though- It made me feel blessed dewd: